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Five Ways Andrew Wiggins Can Live Up To The Hype

Andrew Wiggins
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Andrew Wiggins will be dealing with some pretty outrageous pressure during his only first season with the Kansas Jayhawks.’s Myron Medcalf named him the most indispensable player in the NCAA next season over such players as Marcus Smart and Doug McDermott despite the fact that they are men who have actually played college basketball before. Wiggins is regarded as the best prep prospect since Lebron James.

If you recall, some pretty good basketball players have emerged on the scene since then. In order to meet (not exceed) expectations, Wiggins will have to perform better than Kevin Durant (might turn out to be the best scorer of all time) Derrick Rose (an MVP at 22) and Russell Westbrook (dropped 43 points in a Finals Game at age 23). Is there anything he can do against college kids to live up to this hype? I have some ideas.


Play The Non-Conference Schedule 1 on 5




If a 6-8 wing with a 7-0 wingspan, outrageous vertical and feathery jumper can’t single-handedly take on the likes of Alcorn State, what are we all getting so excited about? Though this strategy will undoubtedly handicap his assist totals and cause him to face ball pressure that will make him puke on himself, it should give him a good chance to score an excruciatingly exhausting 60-70 points per game while learning how to defend with futile exasperation all over the floor.


Dunk All Free Throws




Yeah, just go ahead and dunk all the free throws. Nice two footed, 15 foot cram sessions should put the hoops world on notice. If Lebron had figured this out last year, the Heat might have actually gone somewhere, but his maddeningly competent 76% from the line was a prominent factor in the team failing to go undefeated for the third straight year since The Decision.


Get A Law Degree




Spend the first couple months on an undergrad degree and make sure the law degree is completed by the first week of April. Immediately after hoisting the Wooden Trophy, sue the NBA over the unfair labor practices that forced you unbearable collegiate hardships like never going to class and hooking up with hot sorority girls instead of NBA groupies. Represent yourself. You should be on the Spurs by mid-month, just in time for the final playoff push.


Win Conference Player Of The Year In Every Conference




Kansas isn’t in the America East? No excuse. To live up to this sort of breathless anticipation, you can’t just go winning the Big-12 award and think you did anything special.


Openly Date Bill Self’s Wife




“What’s that, Bill? You want me to look for my own shot more? I might as well stop swiping Cindy desert at the dining hall while I’m at it if I’m gonna start indulging all these requests from you.” Also, make the boosters send the Self children cash gifts signed “Daddy Drew.”

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