Hurricane Preparedness Single Guy Style
Hurricane Irene is barreling down on the northeast like a drunk truck driver barrels down on a Geo Metro on the highway. This is the first storm in 100 years to hit New England with this kind of force. I know what you’re thinking “dude we are Fine here in upstate New York”. That may be true but hey, better safe then sorry.
If you need the basics put together a kit with a flash light, first aid kit, some canned goods and yada yada. That’s what you need to survive a real storm in Florida. I’m talking to you about how to get through a wind storm that has a crap ton of rain. Here are some of my tips.
Pizza and TV
Order pizza the night before, unless you want to drop 50 bucks just on the tip - you are going to need to get it when the getting is easy. It’s simple you don’t want to leave, they don’t want to leave the pizzeria. Besides pizza in a toaster oven is still good pizza. Also plan on watching some TV, - nothing will make a day go faster then seven hours of Pawn Stars, or A&E on demand. I mean I love how the Chumly guy doesn’t know his butt from a hole in the ground, but he knows how much that Limp Bizkit pinball machine is worth.
TV show or a box set of DVDS
I know you probably have cable, but in my experience that’s one of the first things to go in high winds. The DVDs will provide some emergency entertainment for you and roommates/ family. Remember if you have no backup plan you’re going to have to sit around and talk about their life, which if you cared you probably know everything interesting they have to say already. Think of it this way, would you rather watch “Arrested Development” or sit around and listen to how your roommate had to stop buying the fluffy toilet paper because he never felt clean, or how his dream is to own a hamster farm. Trust me you’ll thank me for saving you from this, and you’ll also thank me for the hours of entertainment you will get from Buster.
Sometimes the better investment is a video game that you can sink your teeth into for hours. I’m talking start playing at noon and don’t stop till dawn the next morning. The kinds of game were you start loosing your grip on reality. You know you find yourself in the garage trying to steal your own car so you can pick up tony bring him to the drive by so your video game girlfriend can finish cosmetology school. The kind of game were you’re positive that there a swarm of zombies in the driveway so you need to hide in the basement for a month eating your old sneakers to stay alive.
Invite over a Girl
This goes out to the single guys and gals, because if you’re married your life is already constantly screwed up by a force of soul crushing destruction with a women’s name. For those of us who are unwed, it’s a good rule of thumb to spend your day locked up with someone who can “Entertain” you. This is also a fail safe if the power goes out and you can not watch DVD’s. I mean this one seems like a no brainer. You could have lights out fun with a girl, or lights out fun by yourself. The easy answer is the girl. Otherwise you’re just a weirdo neck deep in blankets in the middle of a hurricane.
Finally Extra Socks
There is nothing worse in the world then wet socks. I would rather be dumped via text message then dragged through broken glass naked by the guy she left me for then wear wet socks for one second. There is nothing worst then walking around and hearing splashing and feeling your foot juice squishing through your toes. What does this half to do with a hurricane? Nothing it’s just a good nugget of life advice, always have spare socks.
Now you’re as ready as you can been for an upstate New York hurricane. Use the advice I’ve given you and you will have a safe/ fun experience.. Remember just because there’s a hurricane doesn’t mean you should be in a tropical depression.