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I Don’t Care About HGH In The NFL

Ian Waldie, Getty Images

Today, the NFL players ratified a new 10-year collective bargaining agreement and the contract allows the NFL to become the first major U.S. professional sports league to use blood testing for human growth hormone. 

This likely means players would be subject to random testing for HGH starting in week #1 of the 2011 NFL season.

But I’m not a fan.

I don’t care about HGH use in the NFL.

It doesn’t bother me that NFL players are taking steroids. In the NFL, you are measured by Super Bowl rings not stats like tackles, sacks or interceptions.  It’s all about winning in the NFL.

I know I’m putting out a double-standard here. But I’m entertained by big hits, deep passes and the explosive nature of football.  I don’t want to know what these players are doing to get there. Sorry!

In baseball, it’s all about stats and numbers. In baseball, you are measured by that. If you cheat, those numbers are tainted. Baseball has a purity to it – we’d like to think. But drugs are in other sports and no one cares.  Half of the top 10 homerun hitters in baseball are linked to steroids or performance enhancing drugs.  And there’s a huge faction of people that don’t want them in the hall of fame.

Two years ago, 3 players on the Montreal Canadians were linked to a major drug ring. But you probably didn’t hear about it until now?  Julius Peppers was busted in his rookie year for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. Do you remember that?  

Brian Cushing was busted for violating the NFL’s doping policy a year ago. We found this out after he was named the rookie of the year. They re-voted and he still was named defensive rookie of the year!  What about Shane Merriman or Rodney Harrison?

Major League Baseball is the prissy girl in high school while the NFL is party girl.  If you catch the prissy chick smoking a cigarette, all of a sudden there’s an anti-tobacco assembly being held. If the party chick is busted smoking a cigarette, you’re thankful it’s just a cigarette.

You’d like to think the NFL players are getting their stats because of their talent not because they’re cheating.  It’s like the Barney character. He’s a big fun-loving dinosaur we all grew up on. But in reality, it’s just a sweaty fat dude in a giant purple costume.  You know baseball is slimy and dirty but you’d still like to live off of your beliefs as a kid.

Doug Pensinger, Getty Images

It’s not offensive to me to know that a 6-3, 260 lbs. man was on performance enhancing drugs.  Just like it wouldn’t be a shock to me to learn that Big John, the bouncer at the club, was doing steroids either.  The guy hasn’t seen his own neck since 2003.

Men aren’t made that big naturally.  Sorry – 6-5, 285 lbs men aren’t natural. When those guys are running 4.5 40’s and have 3% body fat, that’s not human! Let’s be honest – it wouldn’t shock me if everyone in the NFL was doing some sort of performance enhancing drug.  Except Albert Haynesworth - his performance enhancing drug is a Double Whopper. 

Take the WWF/WWE.  As a kid, you loved all those big dudes.  But as an adult, the WWE is a bunch of steroid doin’, underwear pant wearing guys chasing each other around with chairs.  

Another simple example. 

How many TD passes does Joe Namath have? You don’t know right? But what Super Bowl did he win? Heck, most of you can even give me his stats for that game.  

How many World Series championships does Ty Cobb have? Zero.  That’s right, Cobb didn’t win one World Series.  He played in three World Series (1907, 1908, 1909) with the Detroit Tigers and the Tigers lost each one.

But I bet you can tell me his career batting average, can’t you?  He hit .366 (which is an MLB record).

For me, HGH testing in the NFL is a don’t ask, don’t tell policy.

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