Alyssa Campanella was the proud recipient of the crown of Miss USA. No I diden’t say Miss America, Miss USA is the Trashier but more fun to watch  Trump owned counterpart of Miss America. I’m just telling you what my company thinks you want to here. 

I didn’t watch this hot mess of a pageant, are you kidding? The Yankees were playing the Cubs on Sunday Night Baseball. I know some of you are like “Come on Bro those chicks are hot man”. To those riding that statement I have the internet where I can watch a chick make a grilled cheese sandwich while dancing river dance naked. Come on I’m tired of people telling me I should watch things because chicks are hot.  Every show has hot chicks, I mean have you seen TV police officers.

TV 

Getty Images for MiX Bikini

 Real Life 

This thing is a shame I mean there talent portion might as well be pole dancing because half these chicks are one more poor life decision away from giving lap dances to the lunch crowd at “Big Al’s Strip Club”.  Miss USA must get asked every day if she knows Miss America, if she has any real talent, and can I get blew cheese with that salad. Not to mention some chick from California won this ratings trash heap. I’m shocked that a girl from California looks good in bathing suit; I’d be shocked if she got more then lip stick on her SAT’s. 

Ian Waldie, Getty Images

Soon Ladies soon

I have no idea why people watch these things, to me they are painful then getting shot by paintball guns  while I’m naked in December(don’t ask how I know how that feels). I think it be more fun if they had a spelling bee or a contest where the list off current states in the union (they would be allowed to look at each others sashes).