NHL Games Cancelled On October 13 – The NHL That Could Have Been
Tonight would have been a thrilling night of NHL hockey. You know, if the owners and players weren’t fighting over which millionaires were entitled to more millions than the other millionaires. Every night the NHL Lockout goes on, 104.5 The Team will break down the games that both sides have stolen from us, because a world without hockey talk is worse than judging a hair styling contest between Barry Melrose and Mel Kiper Jr.
A full slate of games were set to face off in the NHL today for the first time this season. Unfortunately, we will see none of them because Gary Bettman and the rest of the NHL owners want all of the money they can squeeze out of the missing teeth of the NHL players. Here is what we are missing today in the National Hockey League.
Carolina Hurricanes at Winnipeg Jets: The only reason anyone outside of these two cities would even think to watch this game is because of how cool it is that the Winnipeg Jets exist again. It’s like we’re watching a game of EA Sports NHL ’94 in real life. The Minnesota North Stars had better be next.
Pittsburgh Penguins at Buffalo Sabres: Playing for the second day in a row, the Penguins would have had a tough test against Ryan Miller and the Sabres. And since it would have been the second game in as many days, Sidney Crosby would have more than likely missed it with turf toe or whatever he felt like making up that day.
Montreal Canadiens at Toronto Maple Leafs: I just feel bad for fans of the Maple Leafs. First of all, they probably get really confused when they have to write the word leaves out in a non-hockey context. Secondly, they are so passionate, yet their team is so terrible. They are literally the Cleveland Browns of the NHL, which sounds somehow even more depressing than just being the Cleveland Browns. At least the Browns are playing games.
Washington Capitals at Ottawa Senators: Senator Sergei Gonchar said recently that he wasn’t sure if some of the NHL’s Russian contingent would return to the NHL after the lockout, stating that they may just stay in their native land’s KHL. Jeez, back in my day the NHL was one of the four major sports in America. Now I just feel old.
Boston Bruins at New Jersey Devils: On the second leg of a back to back, the Devils would have played their home opener tonight against the Bruins. Without the game, residents of New Jersey will have no choice but to resort to episodes of Jersey Shore to entertain themselves.
Philadelphia Flyers at New York Islanders: Only one team had a worse goal differential than the Islanders last year: the Columbus Blue Jackets. John Tavares may be good, but this isn’t basketball where one superstar can win you games. The Islanders are proof of that, and then some.
Tampa Bay Lightning at Florida Panthers: Because no state in this great nation says intrastate hockey matchup like Florida.
St. Louis Blues at Nashville Predators: This would have been the game of the day, given that it features two of the top four seeds in the Western Conference from last season. Today, though, it is just the “pretend game that is never going to happen” of the day.
Colorado Avalanche at Minnesota Wild: The Wild are the reason this whole lockout is happening. When two guys from the New Jersey Devils, regardless of skill level, are being offered approximately $1 billion each for 30 years to play for a team, the owners are going to want teams to not be able to offer that much again. Who owns the Wild, Daniel Snyder?
Columbus Blue Jackets at Chicago Blackhawks: If there is any one team that didn’t want a lockout, it was the Blackhawks. Not only do they not get to play hockey, but now there is no distraction to keep Patrick Kane away from partying a little too hard, something that he is trying to clean up after a summer filled with fans snapping photos of him doing just that. We wish him the best of luck in that endeavor.
Dallas Stars at Phoenix Coyotes: I know I’m not the only person who switches teams from different sports in the same city’s nicknames around to make the team names funnier. Shouldn’t the Coyotes just mock the NHL for letting a team in Phoenix exist by calling themselves the Suns? The answer is a resounding yes.
Edmonton Oilers vs. Vancouver Canucks: President Obama, or whomever is in office, should make sure that time these teams play, they are forced to wear Houston Oilers and Vancouver Grizzlies jerseys, strictly for my entertainment.
Also, wouldn’t Edmonton consider throwing this game to avoid a Vancouver riot rushing into their city? We will never find out.
Enjoy the games, everyone! Oh, wait. Nevermind.