Tonight would have been a thrilling night of NHL hockey. You know, if the owners and players weren’t fighting over which millionaires were entitled to more millions than the other millionaires. Every night the NHL Lockout goes on, 104.5 The Team will break down the games that both sides have stolen from us, because a world without hockey talk is worse than being the Pittsburgh Penguins' team doctor.

Nine games were set to be on the docket in the NHL tonight, but the NHL and its players were too busy makin' it rain to notice, so instead I have to be the one to run down what games we would have had if they just put their differences aside to get a labor deal done.

Detroit Red Wings at Buffalo Sabres: Being the Buffalo Sabres must be the most pressure packed thing in the world. You are literally the only thing standing between having a real pro sports team in Buffalo and leaving the citizens of Buffalo with just having the Bills. The entire sanity of Buffalo rests in your hands and that cannot possibly be an easy thing to cope with.

Ottawa Senators at Pittsburgh Penguins: Even though they were the eighth seed in last year's Eastern Conference Playoffs, the Senators were still the only Canadian team to make the postseason in the east, making them the second best team in Canada to just the Vancouver Canucks last year. It must hurt Canadians to know that teams from Florida, Phoenix and San Jose are doing better than them at their sport.

Boston Bruins at Montreal Canadiens: After a thorough Google search, I found out why the Canadiens are referred to as the Habs, and was so angry that it just means habitants. Why not just change their name to Canadians, make the logo a regular Canadian guy and leave it at that. Easily the lamest nickname in all of sports.

New York Islanders at Tampa Bay Lightning: Steven Stamkos is 22 years old and led the NHL in goals with 60 last season, 10 more than anyone else in the league. He must be thrilled that a year of his prime as an athlete is being wasted by this war of checkbooks. He probably would have netted twelve goals against the Islanders, because the Islanders are terrible.

Chicago Blackhawks at Winnipeg Jets: I'd like to focus on one player on the Jets worth noting: Ben Maxwell. He isn't great, but his name is Ben and he's on the Jets. That, of course, means that the NHL officially has a team they can call "Benny and the Jets." That is flawless.

Colorado Avalanche at Nashville Predators: The Predators managed to end last year with the best power play percentage in the league last year at 21.6%. The fact that a 21% success rate is the best percentage in the league for something that is supposed to give you a decided advantage is a bit of a letdown, but that was a huge reason for their successes last year.

Columbus Blue Jackets at Minnesota Wild: The Minnesota Wild may have one of the worst jerseys in all of sports with this gem. First of all, it has shoelaces and that's atrocious. Then the red makes it look like Happy Gilmore used a skate to cut all of the players, and that they never changed their jerseys after it happened. Just an abomination of a uniform.

Phoenix Coyotes at Dallas Stars: The Phoenix Coyotes had such a cool logo before they changed it. Let's compare: this was the old one, and this is the current one. Why does every logo have to be close to being biologically accurate? The cartoon coyote was fantastic.

Los Angeles Kings at Edmonton Oilers: A matchup between the defending champions and the team with the second fewest points in the league last year. On second thought, maybe a lockout isn't so bad.

Enjoy the games tonight. Oh, wait. Nevermind.