Tonight would have been a thrilling night of NHL hockey. You know, if the owners and players weren’t fighting over which millionaires were entitled to more millions than the other millionaires. Every night the NHL Lockout goes on, 104.5 The Team will break down the games that both sides have stolen from us, because a world without hockey talk is worse than having Zdeno Chara as your dentist. To catch up on previous editions of the series, go here.

Good news, hockey fans! The owners have pulled a surprising move and offered a 50/50 split of hockey related revenue to the players and rumors are swirling that a full 82 game season could start in November.

Bad news, hockey fans! The players have yet to accept that offer, so we are still waiting for the start of hockey season! That means, while the players are too busy reading 50 Shades Of Grey to accept the owners' deal, we are left with another day of cancelled games.

Montreal Canadiens at Boston Bruins: I hate when athletes use their perch as athletes to spew their political views at us so, naturally, I'm not a big Tim Thomas fan. The guy wins a Stanley Cup, gets invited to the White House to be told by a bunch of people how awesome he is, and skips it because he wants to turn it into a political statement. I don't care if Godzilla is our current president, you should soak up that moment and enjoy the fact that you get to go to one of the most exclusive locations in all of the world. Plus, there are approximately 900 rooms in the White House. Just avoid the President if it's that big a deal to you.

Columbus Blue Jackets at Toronto Maple Leafs: Shouldn't the Blue Jackets only wear blue jerseys? What's the point of having the Blue Jackets dress in white for some games? That's nonsense.

Pittsburgh Penguins at Philadelphia Flyers: In football, Steelers fans and Eagles fans are among the two most insufferable fan bases in the world. However, hockey fans are way less obnoxious for the most part, given that the sheer number of them is smaller. Therefore, I have no qualms with either group of Pennsylvania hockey fans.

New York Islanders at Florida Panthers: Having gone to a university filled with Long Islanders, I routinely was subjected to the worst debate in human history which, of course, is the debate as to whether Nassau or Suffolk County is the nicer part of Long Island. I would rather listen to Skip Bayless say mean things about LeBron James on a loop forever than hear that garbage ever again.

So, with that said, I wonder if the Suffolk County crowd ever gets angry that the Islanders play in the Nassau Coliseum, and if it ever escalates to the point that Suffolk folks refuse to support the Islanders. These are the questions that need to get answered in the world of sports.

Detroit Red Wings at St. Louis Blues: The Blues had two goalies in the top four in goals allowed average last year, but finished 9th in the West in scoring, which led to them failing to cash in on their great defensive play once the playoffs rolled around. In other words, they were the San Francisco 49ers of hockey.

Vancouver Canucks at Nashville Predators: Nashville had the 20th best attendance in the league last year, ahead of four other southern states and five northern venues. However, two of those northern venues were in Newark, New Jersey and Long Island, so I guess 20th overall makes a lot of sense.

Minnesota Wild at Dallas Stars: The Wild had the third worst goal differential in the league last year at -49. Also, the NHL deserves a lot of credit for not being idiots when it comes to geographically classifying teams like the NFL is. Dallas is in the Western Conference in hockey and it makes oh so much sense.

Colorado Avalanche at Chicago Blackhawks: The loser of this football game should be forced to accept Jay Cutler on their city's football team until he retires. Talk about a high stakes game. One city would riot in celebration of not having him, while the other would riot in rage.

Calgary Flames at Phoenix Coyotes: That attendance list I mentioned earlier? The Coyotes were at the bottom of it, despite the fact that the team finished in third in the west last year. But, yeah, hockey is a great idea in the southern states.

Carolina Hurricanes at Los Angeles Kings: The ultimate case of east coast bias came last year, when Kings goalie Jonathan Quick had virtually identical stats to Henrik Lundqvist, yet we only talked about King Henrick throughout the playoffs until the Rangers were knocked out. Quick got the last laugh, however, winning the Cup.

Edmonton Oilers at San Jose Sharks: The Oilers scored a ton of goals last year, but they gave up the second most in the west, which killed their season. Surprisingly, Mike D'Antoni was not coaching them.

Enjoy the pretend games, everyone.

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