Next time you’re running behind for kickoff don’t stuff that chicken sandwich in your pants.

Mary Clayton was a season ticket holder for Georgia Tech Football. Key word is “WAS”. Last fall, she was lagging behind on here weekly pilgrimage to the stadium. In order to save time she grabbed a chicken sandwich and stuck it down her pants in hopes of getting it into the stadium.  

The security guard had seen the sandwich pre pants stuffing, and asked Mary where it had gone. She said she tossed it out, the crowed then started telling on her, yelling out she stuffed it down her pants. It was at this point Mary was escorted to a private bathroom and stripped naked to see if she had more then some original recipe in her pants. 

Mary is claiming mental damages and has filled a lawsuit blah blah blah. There so many things wrong with this story. One, why can’t you eat a chicken sandwich then go into the game chicken in your belly? I mean what does that take like 4 minutes; eat it while you drive around the parking lot looking for a spot. You got to multi-task sister. If you want to eat and enjoy football, you gotta unhinge your jaw and choke that thing down python style. 

The other thing wrong is that everyone else was turning her in. This is in Atlanta, a city that has expressed openly their right to have hand guns. So it’s ok for Gus to have a concealed weapon but not for Mary to have a concealed chicken sandwich.  What the hell is up with people telling on her, they are 12 beers deep and just got done pissing in a flower pot and they think now is the time to be a law abiding citizen.

Finally, Mary you can’t sue because you got caught breaking the rules. Who knows those delicious herbs and spices could be anthrax. You need to suck it up get a membership to Curves and come back next season looking fabulous.