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Taco Bell Has No Beef

Taco Bell
William Thomas Cain, Getty Images


I was shocked to learn that my favorite fast food chain has a big big secret


I found out today that Taco Bell isn’t serving “real” beef in there seasoned Beef. I’m shocked; I’ve been dumping their meat like concoction in my body for years, only to find out years latter it’s less then 35 percent beef.

Come on Taco Bell, you were the last oasis in the true fast food dining genre. I used to lie to my self and think I was eating healthy; I wanted to be the Jared of Taco Bell. Now I’m concerned what the hell I’m eating, I mean is the 65% of your “Beef” Soylent Green (my Burrito is made of PEOPLE).  I mean I’m kind of relieved that what ever this mystery ingredient was causing my searing gut pain, and not just the Mexican- American food.

Taco Bell where does it end, is there saw dust in your chicken, is there rubber bands in your steak, and what the hell is in the “Long John Silvers” hush puppies (Let alone the “CRAB” Cakes).  I feel like I’ve been cheated my whole life; I want 10,000 dollars for the last 3 years of Taco Bell I ate (that’s a rough but accurate estimate). I was eating a Gordita last week, now I feel I ate a delicious lie that I washed down with a diet Mountain Dew.

I know what your asking “Alan will you ever eat Taco Bell again?”……….Yes I will, I know there are a lot of places to get burritos, but not a lot of places to get 99 cent burritos. Besides I kind of like the free colonic I get after ever meal at Taco Bell.

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