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The Homeless Guy Doesn’t Want To Be A Cavalier, Either

If you’re reading this, then you’re on the internet, and if you’re on the internet then you’ve seen the video of Ted Williams, the homeless man with the golden voice.  Find out what he and LeBron have in common.

 Roughly one week ago, Ted Williams was living on the side of the road, begging for money from passers-by.  One week, and a hefty 15 seconds of fame later, he has been offered a PA job with the Cleveland Cavaliers.  In addition, he has been offered a house by Quicken Loans, the company that sponsors the building in which the Cleveland Cavaliers play.  Sounds great, right?

 Hold that thought.  Mr. Williams is considering other options before agreeing to a job with the Cavaliers. Reportedly, Williams also has offers from Kraft Foods, MSNBC and NFL Films.  So, what do Clevelanders do when their chosen son is thinking about taking his talents elsewhere? They create a freaking website to beg for him to stay. The Cavs have gone so far as to start a website (wewanttedwilliams.com) in attempts to have fans post messages that will persuade the man to come to work for them.  So, let’s recap: The Cavaliers first made this man an offer, he is considering working elsewhere, so they have created a fan-based website in an attempt to woo him.  Is this beginning to remind you of anyone else? (If you don’t see the parallels to LeBron by now, you’re simply not trying.) 

Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Cavaliers’ vice president of marketing, Tracy Marek went so far as to say:

 ”We’re going to start with our heart first…from the perspective that this is an amazing individual who has a lot of components in him that represent who we are and what our DNA is.”

 See that’s where you’re wrong, Cleveland.  Your DNA isn’t filled with hope and opportunity, it’s filled with bitterness and losing tendencies.  I assume that throughout his tumultuous life, Ted Williams has had his fare share of both of the latter qualities.  I look forward to hearing Mr. Williams’ voice for years to come in ads for Kraft Foods, promos for MSNBC and over the unmistakable NFL Films music; just not in Cleveland.

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