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The Official Guide to Bringing Your Girlfriend to a Super Bowl Party

 So you have a special lady in your life (good for you) and you’re wondering if you should bring her to the big Super Bowl party. This is how to know if your relationship is ready for that step…… I got your back on this one guys.

One: If there is any doubt about this girl, whether she is to dumb, to annoying, or just the next stop on the bed post of life, DO NOT BRING HER! If you have question your friends will have QUESTIONS. Let her go to here girl friends house and watch 3 seasons of the Gilmore girls while you get

Ried
Nick Wass, Getty Images

black out drunk with your buddies. No one wants to get to know some one that you’re only dating because you think it’s cool to date a stripper.

Two: If you do bring her along make sure there will be female company for her to enjoy the whole time otherwise it falls on you to entertain her. It is also a general rule of thumb to leave her at home if there will be no other girls at the party. It’s the Junior High dance mentality, Girls in the kitchen talking crap about the guys, guys in the living room forgetting the girls they brought exist until they need a beer.

Three: Ok, so your buds are bringing girls so you’re covered there. Make sure your girl knows she isn’t one of the guys. There is nothing more annoying in the world then when one of the girls sits down and asks 14 questions a minute to the group about what’s going on in the game, and what’s going on in our lives. We are guys we talk in a series of questionable jokes and movie quotes when around our friends. If a guy ask “What are you doing after the game?” an appropriate response is “We’re going streaking, Bring your green hat”.

Four: have her bring what she wants to drink if it isn’t beer. I don’t know about you but I hate when anyone (not just girls) walk around a party

Drink
Johannes Simon, Getty Images

complaining about how much they hate beer and would prefer something else. Your legs aren’t broken, get in the car and go get some.  It isn’t my responsibility to think ahead and say I need a cosmopolitan mix on hand because Mike’s immature girlfriend won’t bring her own. Come on girlfriend we are watching the SUPER BOWL, not “Sister Hood of the Traveling Sports Bra”.

Five: Do not make out with her at the party, No one likes watching other people kiss unless it’s in the middle of sex act in a porno (and even then it’s ok because there is something we want to look at going on just a little south of that). Keep that stuff confined to your apartment not my living room.  Most people would let it go and leave the room, not me, I’m going to call you out on your assh**e move, I’ll say something like “Get a Room” or “She is so ugly how can you do that to your self”. Something where it will scare her from ever doing it in public again( o and prevent you from getting into the pocket that night, if you know what I mean).

yuck
Frederick M. Brown, Getty Images

 

Those are some simple rules of Super bowl Party Girlfriend rules. Follow them and your friends will love her, don’t and they will want to toss both of you out in the cold.

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