The Pizza Pound-off Preview
We are less then one week away from the biggest event in local pizza eating history and it’s time you were educated about the event.
The event is an all you can eat competition with a 30 minute time limit. That’s pretty much it, Fish and Cady will eat as much pizza as their fat frames can take in 30 minutes. Smack talk is encouraged through out the days leading up to the event as well as the event it’s self. It will take place at one of the Premier pizza establishments in the Capital District, Pizza Mare in Colonie.
This event will be up there with “Rumble in the Jungle”, “Rocky II”, the invention of the ShamWOW, and the first episode of South Park as one of the greatest moments in human history. Years from now your children will ask you “Daddy where were you when the Pizza Pound-off happened?” I’m not saying this going to change your life but I’m not saying it won’t.
Maybe you meet some sexy girl at the soda machine and she is all hot and bothered by Fish’s amazing beard, or Cady’s neck sweat, and she just wants to feel the touch of a man. Boom, you’re right there to get some Pizza Pound-off Action…… It Could Happen.
Let’s Meet the Contestants
Alan Fish: 4-1 Morning Line
Fish is from the far away place of Amsterdam, New York and is trained in many eating styles including Python and Fat Guy. He dreams of one day winning the Pizza Pound-off and making everyone in Amsterdam proud to be from the “Rug City”. He performs stand up comedy all around the Capital Region, but no one cares about that they just want to see that fat slob kill some pizza for their entertainment. Then maybe we will let him tell a knock-knock joke or something.
Brian Cady: 7-5 Morning Line
Cady is a life long Albany native (except for one trip to Houston) that has been eating his whole life. He is trained in many different arts of eating including Hoover, and fistfuls. Cady wants to win the competition so people stop seeing him as just a piece of eye candy around the office. Cady is very skilled singer out of the competitive eating world and also is a degenerate gambler. Cady has never been to Italy but who needs it when you can crush 24 slices of Pizza at the Pound-off.
AND ITS FREE! That’s right – all that gum slapping, Za eating, cholesterol peaking, fun is at zero cost to you, the listener. Let’s compare the this event to the Super Bowl which will cost you $4,592 for tickets, airfare and hotel for an event that just flat out can’t hold a candle to the Pound-off. Or you can just attend the greatest moment in pizza eating history for free. That’s what I call a deal, a lifetime of memories for less the one American Penny, you can’t beat that. At worst come in and grab a slice and watch somebody eat so much pizza they get sick.