The Super Survivor Guide: PART 1
From the Puppy Bowl to becoming a Super Sunday legend, this is everything you will need to know for the “Big Game” Part 1.
That’s right – Animal Planet has announced it will be doing another puppy bowl. Why won’t they stop with this kind of alternative programming?
This is great! I love the fact I can watch a bunch of dogs roll around in there own filth instead of pre-game coverage. Honestly – who is watching the Puppy Bowl (besides sad lonely hipsters with no life)? If you are watching this for more then three seconds, on a secondary TV, you better be an 11 year old girl. Millions of people tune in to this crap (there really is crap on the floor) so I know some of you are lying when you say you don’t.
I saw five minutes of Puppy Bowl V. There was a fireworks dance party and signing hamsters. I’m sure programming like this is huge in Japan but this is America. Home of the SUV and the Bacconator; we need Bruce Willis racing monster trucks full of naked ladies holding chainsaws on another channel to even think about picture and picture during the pre-game shows COMMERCIALS!
Another thing to avoid this Super Sunday “work parties” – yes work parties. There is nothing more fun then being around people you don’t know well enough to be yourself – especially when there is alcohol in the room – and you know you want to get a little buzzed but at what point is too buzzed. You are worried that if you have a third beer they will have a break room intervention waiting for you on Monday. Even if you have a cool boss and a cool job, you can’t get too drunk because you can’t call in sick when you’re vomiting up the salsa the next morning. All and all, if that is your only option, stay home and drink alone. You’ll be much happier with everyone one at work thinking you have a life as opposed to thinking you got the chick from the copy room pregnant cause they saw you sharing a conversation by the dips.
Coming Soon Part 2, Calling in Sick