What An Eventful ESPN Text Alert This Was?!

I was driving home from work on Monday evening when I received an ESPN text alert. I normally don't read them while driving (I mean, never read them while driving, state of New York) but this one had several key words that almost lead me to drive off the crappy unmaintained upstate NY road. Here's the text:

"ESPN NFL - John Harbaugh confirms TMZ report that Jacoby Jones was hurt in party bus brawl involving stripper."

OK, this text alert is worth breaking down, piece by piece:

"John Harbaugh ..." - Like him so much more than his over-the-top brother.

"...confirms TMZ report...." - Remember when everyone treated TMZ like a trash organization? And now they're breaking our sports news left and right ... and laughing all the way to the bank, too.

"... Jacoby Jones was hurt in party bus brawl ..." - I'm listening ...

"involving stripper." - I'm in! I mean ...

Seriously though, let's not act like this is the first NFL player to act silly in his free time and go over the top. As long as Jacoby Jones isn't hurt for this Sunday's game against the Bills (the team would probably be fine without him any way, just saying) then this shouldn't have gone public.

The fact that the masses found out about the incident that occurred at his teammates birthday is unfortunate. But again, let's not overreact and talk about what a bad human being Jacoby Jones is.

Instead, let's just take in this awesome storyline and all ask ourselves the same question ... how hot was the stripper?