Have you ever wanted to watch the Super Bowl with an NFL insider? Have you ever wanted to watch someone type on a smartphone vigorously for hours at a time? Have you ever wanted a party guest to not drink all of your beer? Well, if you are in the New Orleans area and have a few thousand bucks lying around, ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter could be that person!

According to Thuzio, an online service that allows you to book famous sports figures for anything from a phone call to a speaking engagement, you can book Adam Schefter to watch the Super Bowl with you, along with any number of Super Bowl week activities.

How much will it run you to try and convince Adam Schefter to funnel a beer during Sunday's big game? Well, according to his Thuzio profile page, he generally costs between $2,500 and $4,000 for an appearance.

Personally, if I were spending that much to have Schefter over for the Super Bowl, I would come up with a small list of demands of things he has to do during the game in order to earn the payment. They are as follows:

  • He would have to bring beer, and not that cheap stuff either. Yuengling or better is the requirement for the beer, and if he brings Budweiser, I am hacking his Twitter account and tweeting "@Jay_Sanin is so awesome" every hour on the hour for the rest of eternity.
  • Schefter would have to take all of the bad squares in our Super Bowl pool. We're talking about 5-8 and anything with a two in it. The thought of seeing Adam Schefter yelling at the TV for a safety before halftime would be worth every penny of the $4,000.
  • We would make him chug at least one beer, and get it on video. I wouldn't post it online or anything, but just having a video of Adam Schefter chugging a beer would make for a pretty good conversation starter between bros.
  • My final requirement: Adam Schefter will tell me how to take down Skip Bayless once and for all by outlining his weaknesses.

If Adam Schefter can deliver those things, and maybe make a mean pot of chili, I would gladly head down to New Orleans and throw down four grand to watch the Super Bowl with him.

And if he could stop ESPN from fixating on Tim Tebow so often? I'd probably just hand him and Thuzio a blank check and tell them to pick an amount.