Thanksgiving is right around the corner, which means that everyone is searching for things to say that they're thankful for in order to not give away the fact that they are ungrateful tools. I am perhaps the most guilty of this. But as a New York sports fan, there are plenty of things to be thankful for. Here is a handy list of them for you to spout off at the dinner table on Thursday.

  • 1

    You're Not Amar'e Stoudemire

    Watching Amar'e Stoudemire play basketball has officially become depressing. I'm fairly confident that Michael Phelps could swim 400 meters in cement shoes before Amar'e could make it up and down the court one time. But, on the bright side, your knees are probably in much better shape than Stoudemire's! This is a great reminder to be thankful for your health.

  • 2

    You Can Run From Your Problems

    When things get tough, sometimes we all just want to have an escape or an outlet from our problems. You know who can't run away from their problems? The New York Giants. Their 3.6 yards per carry this season is worse than all but three NFL teams. Be thankful that you have an escape, while they clearly do not.

  • 3

    People Care About You

    The holiday season is all about family and togetherness. Be thankful that you have people who care about you, unlike the New York Islanders and New Jersey Devils, who rank 29th and 27th in the NHL in attendance, respectively.

  • 4

    You Can Finish What You Start

    The worst part of any family get-together during the holidays is when a family member asks you when you are going to follow through and do something you've been talking about doing for a long time. Fortunately for you, you're still better at finishing what you've started than the New York Red Bulls, who finished with the best record in the MLS, but couldn't win the MLS Cup. New York's MLS franchise has never won a championship.

  • 5

    Alex Rodriguez Is Nowhere Near You

    We can all be thankful not to know A-Rod, who brings nothing but trouble to everyone around him.