Tonight would have been a thrilling night of NHL hockey. You know, if the owners and players weren’t fighting over which millionaires were entitled to more millions than the other millionaires. Every night the NHL Lockout goes on, 104.5 The Team will break down the games that both sides have stolen from us, because a world without hockey talk is worse than Gordon Bombay's attitude in D2: The Mighty Ducks. To catch up on previous editions of the series, go here.

Nine games were set to face off in the NHL tonight, but those games may never happen because Gary Bettman was secretly put into power by David Stern, Roger Goodell and Bud Selig to make them look less incompetent. Instead, we are all going to spend our Tuesday nights hoping that the NLCS is somehow taken to a Game Eight.

Carolina Hurricanes at Boston Bruins: I don't want to betray my source on this one, but I heard that Kevin Garnett is a real jerk. Someone working at Times Union Center for the Knicks/Celtics preseason game told me that the only teammate he talked to that game was Paul Pierce. I figured that his obnoxious on court nature was just to intimidate opponents. Nope, he's just certifiably insane.

Vancouver Canucks at Pittsburgh Penguins: When the top NHL headline on is that the owners and players are "likely to talk by the end of the week," things are not going well in your negotiations. For a team like the Penguins, whose point total has increased each of the last four seasons, that is devastating.

Detroit Red Wings at Columbus Blue Jackets: I can't decide if this clip of Blue Jackets fans and broadcasters gathering at a bar to watch their Blue Jackets play in NHL 13 is pathetic or awesome. I'm leaning towards pathetic, though. You didn't see NBA fans resorting to that nonsense during the NBA lockout.

Dallas Stars at Ottawa Senators: I feel bad for the guy who used to get paid to write up power rankings for the NHL. Does he just not get paid to do that anymore, or do they still pay him despite the fact that he literally can't do his job until they resolve the lockout? I bet whoever it is works at a Home Depot right now.

New York Rangers at Tampa Bay Lightning: New York has a ton of professional sports teams in it. This begs the question: which one has the best team name? Unfortunately, most of them are absolutely terrible. That's why I choose the Rangers. In last place is a three way tie between the Mets, Islanders and the MLS' New York Red Bulls, because that is just shameless corporate promotion.

Washington Capitals at Winnipeg Jets: Does anybody else find it to be interesting that two pro sports teams in Winnipeg have the team names Jets and Blue Bombers? Are the blue bombers the people who pilot the jets? Do they take jets down? Either way, it's quite the combination.

Chicago Blackhawks at St. Louis Blues: The Utah Jazz were originally from New Orleans, but never bothered to change their nickname from Jazz. The Blues were named as such in honor of a legendary song composed in St. Louis called the 'St. Louis Blues.' Therefore, of all the musical team names, the Blues is the most respectable.

Montreal Canadiens at Minnesota Wild: I feel bad for the Wild. They had a great player in Marian Gaborik, lost him to a team that is actually relevant, and now they are hoping that overpaying former New Jersey Devils who aren't nearly as youthful will help make it better. Also unfortunate: the rest of Minnesota sports lately.

Nashville Predators at Los Angeles Kings: The NHL should pull some strings to bring Rick Nash onto the Predators, specifically so fans can come up with some kind of creative fan section for him called Nash-ville. If anything, it would make going to a hockey game when you live in the south somewhat of a decent idea.

Don't pick up any five minute majors tonight, everyone.

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