If you're geeky enough to wear an NFL jersey, I've got some great fashion advice for you.  You should never, ever wear a jersey with your own last name on the back of it.  This is a definite no-no. 

It screams, “I’m a geek that never did anything athletically in my life, so I have to wear this Jets #74 jersey with my name on the back.”  If I see a guy with a real, authentic Buffalo Bills jersey with the name “Goldstein” on the back, I’m automatically assuming that guy has no girlfriend and has no plans in getting one anytime soon.


Not only that, but I’ve never seen a customized authentic jersey with a fans' name on the back that actually fits right.  Do you know why?  Because those people keep their jersey for 10 years since they spent $350 dollars trying to be part of the team.  Sorry, but you’re not part of the team.  Go back to playing Beer League Softball on Tuesday nights.

Remember, you're supposed to be purchasing a jersey of a player on your favorite team - you're not buying a jersey to put yourself on that team.  I don't care that the player gets traded after you buy his jersey!  It’s your fault for spending $350 dollars on NFL teamwear.  Get a new TV, take your girlfriend out to dinner or spend that money on an online degree from ITTech.

I can’t stand it – it makes my blood boil seeing a guy with a New York Rangers #11 jersey with the name, “Coogler” on the back.  No, you’re not Mark Messier, you’re Frank Coogler and you work at the Mall.

I hope these fashion tips make you a better person.  But please, whatever you do, don't go out and buy a Dallas Cowboys #9 jersey and then put "#1 Fan" on the back of it.  Please - I beg you!