Let me preface this by saying I'm sure Noah Syndergaard lives a happy life, and I give him credit for finding peace and happiness in this crazy world.

But are you KIDDING ME, Noah?

GQ did an article on the Mets' right-hander earlier this week, detailing some of the habits that he follows during an average day. As someone who's spent the last year rehabbing from Tommy John Surgery, I'm sure he's been looking for every way to get a competitive edge when he returns to the mound in Queens. That said, some of these might be a little over the top. Let us discuss.

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He Begins His Day in a Cold Tub and a Hyperbaric Chamber

This is probably the most normal thing mentioned in the article. He sits in a cold tub every morning for a few minutes to make his body purposely hyperventilate. No better way to start the day than believing your heart is going to explode!


He Earths Himself

This isn't dirty.

Actually, wait, yes it is. Check this out:

I'm really big into grounding, or earthing, which is basically standing barefoot and making a connection to the earth. Sounds kind of like witchcraft, but I believe the science behind it. - Noah Syndergaard to GQ

So we've gone from reasonable body preservation to HE'S A WITCH! It's been a busy day at the Syndergaard Sanatorium.


He Eats Hearts and Livers (of his Enemies?)

We were told the hearts and livers are from animals. I'll believe it when I see how the sausage is made, metaphorically speaking.

Again, we return to some sense of normalcy for this one. Syndergaard buys his meats from a special farm, which provides him with high-muscle, low-fat cuts for his consumption. He also mentions that these cuts of meat are included in hamburger-like patties, which makes it easier to stomach. But then...


He Turns Off His Wi-Fi at Night...

...in order to protect his brain. More specifically, he wants to protect the mitochondria, which, as we all know, is the powerhouse of the cell. He is worried that the EMF radioation will negatively impact said mitochondria.


Final Verdict: I highly recommend reading the article itself, too. Noah has clearly done his research, and is probably grasping at straws trying to find a way to get back on the mound, and stay there for the long haul.

That said, I'm a little worried about him. Just a bit.

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